I became more attached to my readers than to my mother. What is the emotional sensitivity between the teacher and the student? How to deal with the sensitivity of the teacher

Nutrition for a psychologist

My name is Sasha. I'm 12 and I'm starting 7th grade. Last year I arrived in Chernigov and walked to the new school. The first impression about all the readers was mostly positive, and for the sake of the note with which I am now writing, the food I received was just as well, just like everyone else. During the entire initial period, I began to become attached to her, but over the summer I became bored. In whose early childhood I was extremely glad to learn from her, and it would have been good if our papers with her were significantly shorter and more voluminous, lower ones with one or the other from the class. We joined VKontakte, and absolutely freely. But then I began to notice that at school they don’t notice me at all, but don’t put me first on VKontakte, which is indicative of some kind of stress. At first I was just trying not to tag anyone, but recently after my lesson I realized that I really didn’t need it! It became really hard for me! I really cried through it. Then I became proud and told her about those that I really wanted to be friends with her, being a neighbor. She confirmed that she was pleased with the fact that I respected her friend, but nothing had changed in our lives, I was already trying to forget her, otherwise nothing would happen, I, as before, was already needed. Why bother me!? How will you deal with me!?

Alexandra, you are not “not needed”, on the right is not in this. Vaughn just realized that she has moved between professional jobs and is now quietly trying to get away from you, but so that you don’t miss anything. She may be young and may not be able to handle such situations correctly. First of all, she got close to the student, which is not a trace, because you are tied up with professional hats, and it is wrong to see any of the students. In another way, if you have already become close, it is not enough to competently encourage your relations, making it clear where friendship ends and student-teacher relations begin. Thirdly, instead of explaining to you the whole situation, she said in the distance that everyone was the same, but with whom they began to move away. Tim, having done this to you, notices that you have become unnecessary and you don’t understand why. But she simply couldn’t figure out how to choose the notes correctly and, like a child, wanted to get out of the situation - “I’m not me, and I have nothing to do with it.” Calm down, going to the school psychologist, you’re just scared and selfish, and you’re so drawn to the reader. Let's talk about it. Perhaps you should talk to her later, otherwise there is no need to call yourself. The age of an adult and a child will always lie on the adult's side.

Golisheva Evgeniya Andriivna, psychologist Moscow

For a student, a thought expressed by a beloved teacher is accepted as truth. For a teacher, who can establish emotional contact, it is much easier to establish a class, attach love to his subject, and thereby increase success and increase the desire for knowledge among students.

Well, look at this situation from the other side, close friendly communications between the student and the teacher can call out the unreasonable feelings of other children’s parents, classmates and other teachers. As a rule, such a teaching is perceived as “beloved,” depending on the teacher’s special preference. So why is it important to establish emotional contact and is it necessary to maintain clear subordination?

Nowadays, pedagogy has its own orderly, non-invasive methods for tracking relationships between people. Tim is no less, no reports about success, data about the social role of education among one-year-olds and psychological tests will not give a new indication of education and do not replace the warmth of human warmth. Intuition, intelligence, kindness and openness of the reader - the most important officials will learn from their students.

Activity

As practice shows, students who are at ease before their graduation are more active in lessons, absorb information more quickly, are enthusiastic about learning new things and, as a result, show high results. If, regardless of your experience and professional training, the teacher does not know how to approach children, then, regardless of everything, success in this subject will be low.

Reach

For students of younger classes, the teacher's specialness is associated with their first tests and achievements. The teacher helps the child learn to read, comprehend and write. As a rule, such research is always carried out on the basis of the study, and once such troubles have accumulated, then guesses about the first reader grieve the soul right up to old age. High school students must begin in a different way, otherwise they will require the understanding of an older friend-mentor, who can become a teacher for them.

Problems

Whenever a child begins to have problems with his/her habits, the skin begins to look for its own self-righteousness. For fathers, this is an incompetent teacher, who must be placed suvoro, for payment - a teacher, who does not want to try at all, and fathers, as it is wrong to guide a child or not to help her... But no one loses respect for inter-socialist struggles. We also teach as teachers, as a big step to take as a teacher.

Some regular professional training as a teacher may not be enough to ensure the success of a new teacher. First of all, a good teacher is obliged to love his profession and approach it with enthusiasm, in which he is obliged to praise not only the appearance in the report card, but the process of learning, dedication to the academic subject, help and desire.

The main goal of the teacher is to awaken the child to the knowledge. And it is also possible to establish emotional contact in the mind.

Tim not less, it is important to remember that the teacher is obliged to fulfill his role, not to allow familiar marks on the side of high school students and to put everything in the same place. By interacting with students, the teacher goes beyond the boundaries of acceptable behavior and risks causing hostility. Setting before studies may be, however, sensitive and respectful.

However, the emotional connection between the student and the teacher is both acceptable and beneficial, as long as the process begins becomes productive. Such trays may appear on the floor, trust and understand. It should be remembered that friendship of any kind is strictly unacceptable to anyone, as it may harm the reputation of the teacher, and one may also want to quickly make use of such friendship for selfish purposes.

I'm flying. It all started about 3 months ago, when I moved to a new school and that’s why I became attached to one teacher. I feel even more strongly about her, I felt more for my mother.
I have my own mother, but there are no warm hundreds from her. From 2 to 15 years old I grew up with my father, at that time there were three children in our family, I and 2 older sisters who lived with my mother in another place. At that hour, it seemed like everyone was on the same page, she grabbed me as carefully as that granny gave me enough care, respect. When I was 10-11 years old, my mother found a new person and from this new brother and sister were born (3 and 4 years old), now we have five children (less than 15, older sisters 18 and 20) . Through the circumstances that had developed, I had the opportunity to move to live with them, with my mother, stepfather, and sisters, for a few months. Having lived with them for three months, I realized that with my mother we would not have warm days. I don’t feel any warm feelings for her, I find it unacceptable if she doesn’t hug/hug me, I can’t be bothered to get together with her, have a heart-to-heart talk, etc. The soul now has all sorts of images on it, images of those that she gave birth to me and suddenly left me, and then it was just a shame to take us away from her, because my mother drank heavily.
And now it’s unacceptable for her, if I remind her about this, she tries to come clean and blame the fault on her dad. Another image for those who found another person and gave birth to two. Of course, I understand that she has a right to family happiness (although I wouldn’t say that she’s happy at all), but I can’t and don’t want to accept the situation. I just wanted a normal homeland, and not everything. Since the appearance of my stepfather and the marriage of my brother and sister, I am still, it seems, not in captivity.
There is no warm mutual relationship between the older sisters. We don’t lie, our days are normal, but no more.
I just learned about my mother’s worries that I have never had enough of her love, passion, and respect. But at that same hour I moved away from her and I don’t dare to get closer, take the respect that she always gives me.
Now my mother started drinking again, a little bit, really. This is how she tries to get away with her problems. I'm afraid that we might be able to force ourselves to go on a drinking binge again.

I’ll turn to this reader. I always agree with this - love is up to the reader... And, unfortunately, it won’t bring more suffering. This woman is 30 years old, she has a man and a 7 river daughter. Vaughn (the reader) is very pretty, she has great eyes, in which I am literally drowning. I like her voice, her sounds, her appearance. The plan is to begin to finish the suvor, it’s powerful, but the posture of the lessons is completely different, then. diversified people. As a matter of fact, I accept them as a human being, who could give me love, affection, turbot, affection, predation. I want to be put before me like all other students, I yearn I found my mother in her and I even wanted her to be her. Alas, it’s a pity, the reality is different and I can’t come to terms with it, accept it all. Every day I think about this reader, I often want to hug her, just hug her and stand there butting my butt. I would like to give her something, to give her a welcome, to make her laugh, her laugh is beautiful.
But what pains me the most is that I even want to tell her about my feelings, I want to confidently trust her, but I know that nothing will come of it. I am a quiet person, very quarrelsome, withdrawn, I have great problems with drinking, so I just can’t stomach all the revelations, and I don’t think that she needs anything.
The lessons of this reader are what is sacred in this world, and God forbid, I literally have tears in my eyes and I run to the toilet, and there the hysterics begin.
I often want to hug my reader with tears, press myself close to her and tell her all the news. Ale, I can’t.
I’ll start the infection in 9th grade, sleep through 3 months, and then we’ll probably never get tired again. If they accept me from the 10th grade, then in case of some kind of storm before summer, 3 months of separation, I will hang myself on a soussie plum due to grief.
I don’t know what to do with me, because with my mother I don’t have a thirst for milking my hundreds, in any sense I closed myself off from her and fenced myself off. Then I want to hang out with this reader, but I can’t, it’s too hard for me to get along with people, even though I’m downtrodden and not talkative. Before that, perhaps, it is not necessary at all. Alas, I’m suffering without her.

Psychologist Diana

Hello, Anya!

Your story is strange, with two fates and without a mother, even the most important fates of life, since a child has a lot of things, almost spent, although you don’t remember anyone.
Your image of your mother has already become clearer, and those who do not dare to get close to her are such a “twist”: you throw them away, as if she “dumped” you.
It is important to live in such an environment, of course, you become withdrawn, become awkward and squeezed.
The reader will feel this warmth - this is such an experience that they have come to life, like such mothers, who want to hug, be closer...
It’s really clear that readers can often become “ideal” people in their souls, which are even more difficult to achieve.

Anya, I have carefully re-read your page several times...
You understand so much about yourself, you analyze the situation so clearly, you are able to adequately define your feelings.
This is very important - it seems that when they are formulated, they become more “over-etched” than it is more reasonable to witness their obviousness...
Those who stink at you, if the reader is not in order, are also very understanding.
I immediately thought, if you began to live without your mother at the age of two, how important it would be for such a little child to wake up and immediately reveal that she was missing. This is great grief.
You really need a close person, separation from a reader, about how you think “forward” (that it will be summer, and you won’t be able to study it), talk about those that now, since summer has not yet come, it is important for you to survive its inaccessibility . The situation has now become clearer, both your mother’s unavailability and the teacher’s unavailability.
Anya, it’s really good that by writing here, you were able to express your feelings, although not the readers themselves, but still living people, and they even made me understand.

I also want to listen to your words about those that you want your readers to know about your feelings, otherwise you are afraid that they don’t need it.
I have realized that you are afraid that she will leave you (that you will not need, she, like your mother, has someone else (her husband, children).
Zvichaino. If you tell her everything that you are filled with, in full peace, and also about the battles that you have faced, then it is clear that you are in trouble.
And you have to live on your own.
You want closeness and are afraid of it, you have already been made happy once (or maybe more than once).
Anya, I think that your desire to become a good reader, to see how she laughs at you, is very important for you.
I realized that you want to hug her.
Naturally, if you attack her, you will start to know that you can get rid of her.
Some speeches are learned step by step, and work in a small way, like other people (be it) - this is the way to go.

Anya, I really want everything to be good for you, absolutely, for the whole hour you haven’t seen your teacher, you’re in pain, you’ll even need a close person...
Over the years, the number of people around you will be greater, and your “lack of attention” may change.
You are able to deal with your experiences, understanding and appreciating your life, this is a great resource.

Thank you very much, Anya.
Look, because the story is chaotic...

Nutrition for a psychologist:

Hello, my name is Margarita, I am 13 years old. It so happened that I don’t live with my dad, my dad left us and my mom when I died, and when I turned 8, my mom went to live in Poland until a new man, or without me. I have been living with my grandmother and grandfather for 5 years now. In principle, everything is fine, they don’t hit me, don’t bark, but I don’t get harassed, I often get into fights, I note that I’m a tractor. In my life, literally two years ago, one woman showed up, when I shook more than my mother - this is my teacher at school. And I didn’t even drop a drop, I don’t know why I shook her like that, I’m just drawn to her. This woman is 44 years old, she is married, and she has no children, so there is less hope for those who do not rest like my mother. I really love this reader, and if I am my mother, then I feel like I’m sorry for her, even with this reader. At one point, my reader loved me even more, I could clearly feel it, but now she began to be less unique and mischievous, and it seemed to me that I was lost alone. I am no longer stressed by this situation, I feel even more wondrous, you understand, when I see this reader, my heart begins to beat even faster, I really love her, as a human being. I was trying to forget it, I was trying to finish my assignment before it, otherwise I wouldn’t go out. She sometimes fights, if I, for example, often pass by her, if I often give her chocolates, which I give her so that she will catch me, if she goes to school, I check her and go to that direction for like her. It’s even more amazing, and yet it’s less turbulent. I sometimes close to tears that it happened that this is not my mother. Well, I never dare say anything to her, even though I don’t even know how she’ll react. I’m already alone and covered, everyone has abandoned me. Previously, this reader may have called me “her little friend” when she bothered me, she hugged me, kissed my life, called me affectionately “Rituley”, but now everything is different, now you can pass and ignore those, I’ll hide the fact that I was in touch with her, to be honest.

This is confirmed by psychologist Snizhana Oleksandrivna Samilova.

Road Margarita. I’m so sorry that your dads can’t take you away. It’s so good that grandma and grandpa should pay for them. And your mother, as I understand it, you teach sometimes. Try to improve your relationship with your mother, tell her more often how you understand what is happening in your life. Grandma and grandpa, try to respond to those people who are making noise about you. Write them a sheet of gratitude for those who stink for you. I can understand from your readers that in psychology this is called “transference,” and in your reality, you melodiously expressed yourself as if it were good, as if the reader herself was your mother, but, unfortunately, your reality is different. If you think about how many people are there for you and show you a warm feeling, then you will realize that it is not so few. Perhaps the reader began to keep a distance from you, because... You miss a lot, so by her behavior she makes you realize that she cannot “replace” your mother. I just don’t know how to tell you about this. Therefore, I would recommend that you change your behavior tactics a little - don’t follow the reader, don’t give her respect, but respect her for what she has earned for you. Try to take a more “adult” position, understand that your life is mature and it is even better that it shows the fate of your lot. Therefore, try to take the smells as they smell. Enjoy your relationship with your loved ones, talk to your grandmother and grandfather, what happened in your life, eat from your mother, how to get through her life, find your hoards, hobbies, start working those you care about And that you haven’t been timid at all. And the more beautiful and harmonious you become, the more people will show interest in you. and enjoy life. I wish you a harmonious and happy growth. If you are already in your middle age, then think about what you yourself want and what you would like to do when you become an adult and direct your living energy towards it.